Babies and Drunks…

God takes care of babies and drunks, right? Don’t buy it? Well, flash back 20 years to a moment that validated that belief for me.

After covering a game at Yankee Stadium, I went to Greenwich Village with reporter friends. When we returned to the Grand Hyatt after 3 a.m., we encountered in the elevator a relief pitcher for the team that had played the Yankees that day. Like us, he had been over served. Less than 10 hours later, he got summoned with two outs, the bases loaded, and every fan at Yankee Stadium screaming for blood. I could feel the reliever’s pain as he plodded from the bullpen to the mound.

Enter God.

The reliever threw one pitch. Paul O’Neill swung and hit the ball as hard as a ball could possibly be hit. And it went right into the second baseman’s glove for the third out. The reliever was finished for the day. Nothing to it.

 

Jim Barach of WCHS-TV in Charleston, W.Va., said of Russell Wilson’s “Elite QB” training academy: “The worst grade possible is an incomplete.”

If your golf swing isn’t that great, maybe you should save yourself all those lessons and simply lower your aspirations. Being a caddie isn’t so bad.  According to a recent Forbes article the money is pretty good. Rory McIlroy’s caddie, J.P. Fitzgerald leads the way by earning an estimated $1.65 million a year. I think I could learn to wipe off clubs and say, “Looks like it breaks right to me.”

 

Have you ever been watching YouTube, started clicking on other threads, and the next thing you know an hour has passed?

 

TheOnion.com noted that pregnant tennis star Serena Williams was “debating between grass or clay birth.”

So there’s no harm in a couple of lunches out a week? Well, according to a recent USA Today story, the average American hands over $11.14 twice a week for lunch. Based on what that comes out to a year — $1,043. If you put that into an investment account that earned 6 percent, you would have $88,500 30 years later.  That’s a powerful endorsement for packing a couple of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches every day.

 

Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald didn’t believe the scoring in the Manny Pacquiao-Jeff Horn fight was on point as he noted:  “One judge had the Russian skater winning.”

Matthew Jordan has won me over…

When the Atlanta-Journal Constitution recently interviewed the Georgia Tech quarterback hopeful, Jordan didn’t talk about emotional ties to playing the position rather he talked about the direct correlation he saw between football and his studies of supply-chain management. Jordan told the AJC:

“Like I tell people interviewing me for an internship, job, whatever, if you think about it, I’ve been around supply chain my whole life. My father’s business and football. Football, it’s making strategic decisions of getting the football from whatever yard line to the goal line. That’s what supply chain is – moving from a commodity, which is a good, to the consumer, which is a touchdown.”

Yes, Matthew Jordan is the perfect signal caller for Tech.

 

Finally, comedy writer Alex Kaseberg made the following observation about a video of Marshawn Lynch playing in a charity soccer game: “Now, I do not want to say Marshawn is fat, but it looks like Beast Mode has been replaced with A La Mode.”

bchastain19@gmail.com

 
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